Porn TED Talk




Firstly, I love TED talks. Secondly, TED talks are long. So here are the main points I want to address in this one.

  • The speaker doesn't support watching porn.
  • Porn is violent and angry, and encourages the same sort of behavior in its viewers.
  • Porn isn't about erotica or communication, but about the male domination of women.
  • Porn doesn't involve touching (i.e. petting, caressing, hugging). Just penetration. 

Here's the thing. I think he's right, but I think he's wrong. It's too easy to find the type of porn he's talking about. The "rape" and "humiliation" categories, the handless sex, and male domination are very accurately addressed and easy to find, especially for developing adolescents, and I don't think that's healthy. But I don't think the solution is to boycott porn. I think the solution is to change it. If porn more accurately represented healthy sex, regardless of the category it fell into, I think we'd have less of a problem.

And, knock on wood, I think porn is changing for the better. The rise of Tumblr accounts that feature healthy erotica and intimacy and celebrate different body types, as well as the appearance of more non-traditional porn stars is wonderful. I saw a BDSM scene the other night, and to tell the truth, my favorite part was the followup/aftercare. The actors laughed together, they joked, they talked about what they liked and what they didn't. I think that's the most important, and often most overlooked part of sex. They communicated, and reinforced that the entire scene was completely consensual and safe.


Points from the TED talk I strongly agree with.

  • The importance of sexual freedom and expression.
  • The importance of intimacy in porn.
  • The importance of emotionally safe sex. 
  • How awesome would it be if there was laughter in porn. (Not a laugh track. Except, maybe a laugh track. Oh my god, has anyone ever put a sitcom laugh track to porn?)

1 comment:

  1. I wish I could write a blog like yours. You so casually say, "I saw a BDSM scene the other night." And that's how it should be said, but it's hard. And not just on this particular issue, but throughout all your blog posts so far. Thank you for being brave, on behalf of all of us who aren't.

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