Robin Thicke, No Means No

I'll be honest, when Blurred Lines came out, I dug it. I hummed. I danced. I liked it until I actually listened to the lyrics. Project Unbreakable features photos of sexual assault survivors holding posters with quotes from their attackers. Comparing their words to lyrics from Blurred Lines is unnerving, to say the least. The Society Pages goes more in depth, but that's not what this post is about. Let's just say it's been shown that Mr. Thicke has difficulty understanding that no means no.

Thicke's new music video was released this week, for the song Get Her Back, about his estranged ex-wife. The song is from the album he wrote about her, fittingly titled Paula, which will be released on July 1st. Apparently, he's pretty damn determined to get her back. 

I'm all for romance. And usually, I'm all for second chances. But when someone says no, they mean no. This video takes that line and crosses it by about thirty feet, featuring a nude-ish model resembling Patton, weird drowning scenes, completely unnecessary and scary blood, and desperate texts. 

The text messages are supposedly between Patton and Thicke. Hopefully, she approved them. More likely, he's using them, real or not, to tell the side of the story he's created.  He seems to believe that he's entitled to a reunion if he tries hard enough, if he earns his girl back. Here's the thing; nobody, ever, is entitled to someone else. You cannot pressure someone or publicly shame them into a relationship. 

Either way, watch the video. Apparently, Thicke drank too much, embarrassed his wife with his infidelity, and got dumped. And he's taking that as an invitation to try harder. Throughout the video, he appears bloody and beaten, the Paula-woman nearly drowns, and he holds his fingers like a gun against his head (threatening suicide is a common signal of an abuser). He and the naked woman rub against each other (not the best way to apologize for cheating). He says he's gotta "cherish her for life", which is probably something he should've figured out when he got married, not after the divorce. The video ends with him swearing, "This is just the beginning." Clearly, he's not going to take no for an answer or respect anything she's saying. That's not romantic. That's terrifying.

Get Her Back isn't the first song to play this stalker-lover angle. Remember Hey There, Delilah? The lead singer was smitten by a girl who rejected him. Hell, even Taylor Swift got a little weird when she insisted her crush (who was taken) belonged to her and watched him through his bedroom window. 

I think what makes Get Her Back so specifically creepy is that it's directly targeting Thicke's ex-wife. The idea that seduction is abuse and vice versa is a very troubling one. His narrative is backed up by horrifying real world statistics about stalking and domestic abuse, which gives it too much seriousness to be ignored. No means no.

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